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- Preaching the Living WORD through
the Written WORD - 2 Tim 4;:2 - |
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“AS FOR ME AND MY
HOUSE, WE WILL SERVE THE LORD” (2014 GBC THEME) “CHRISTIAN HOME
-2” (Eph 5:22-33) 2/2/14 Grace Bible Church,
Gillette, Wyoming Pastor Daryl Hilbert I. NEW TESTAMENT TEACHING ON THE FAMILY A. Directives 1. When you take a look
at the NT teaching on the family (Wives/Mothers, Husbands/Fathers, and
Children), there are basic instructions to each of these groups. 2. There are additional principles to these
basic instructions, but these additional principles are
built upon those basic instructions. 3. In regard to wives, the basic instruction
is for them is to be submissive to their husbands. In
regard to husbands, the basic instruction is to be loving spiritual
leaders. In regard to children, the basic instruction
is to be obedient to their parents. B. Reason For Directives 1. This may appear at first as an
over-simplification. But in reality, God has boiled
down the most important instructions to meet our most basic difficulties and
struggles. 2. So that by focusing on these most
important instructions, we can overcome our most basic difficulties and
struggles. The additional principles will naturally flow out of overcoming
these difficulties and needs. 3. We could explain our most basic
difficulties and struggles as our sinful nature with sinful propensities. By
understanding our sinful nature with sinful propensities, we can then
understand why God’s instructions focus on the need for the submission of
wives, the loving spiritual leadership of husbands, and the obedience of
children. C. The Basis of Our Sinful Nature with Sinful
Propensities 1. When Adam and Eve chose to sin in the
garden, they became sinners with a sinful nature and sinful propensities (Ge
3:6). That sinful nature with those sinful propensities was
passed on to the entire human race (Ro 3:10-18). With sin came
physical and spiritual death (Ge 2:15-17; Ro 5:12; Ro 6:23). It is appointed
that every person will die physically (He 9:27). Bbut Christ was sent to take our sin and penalty on the cross so that
we could have eternal life and not experience spiritual death (Ro 5:8; He
2:9; Re 20:6). 2. But how does the sinful nature with its
sinful propensities affect the role of each member of the family? Ge 3:16
gives us insight into that very question. D. The Sinful Propensities of the Woman (Ge
3:16a) 1. Along with the curse for sin, God
revealed the women’s most basic sinful propensity in regard
to the family. Ge 3:16a states that her “desire will be for [her] husband.” This statement reveals
that the sinful propensity of the women will be her desire or longing for her
husband’s authority. 2. The word “desire” is the Hebrew word teshūqah
and basically means a “longing” or “intent upon”
something. It only appears three times in the OT and it can mean longing in a
good sense or longing in a bad sense. In the Song of Solomon (Sol 7:10), we
find it in a good sense where the Bridegroom’s “desire” is for his bride. In
Ge 4:7, we find it in a bad sense where sin’s “desire” is for Cain’s disobedience. 3. Since the context of Genesis 3 is in regard to the curse, sin, and judgment, it seems best
to apply the bad sense of “desire” to Ge 3:16. That being the case, we see
that a women’s sinful propensity would exhibit itself through a desire or
longing for her husband’s authority or rule. E. The Sinful Propensities of the Man (Ge
3:16b) 1. However, instead of the husband
relinquishing his authority to the desire of the woman, “he will rule over
[her].” It is here that we see man’s sinful propensity in his attempt to rule
over the woman in a sinful way. 2. The word “rule” is the Hebrew word mashal which can have a good connotation or a bad
connotation. The good connotation of the word is explained
by God ordering the sun and moon to rule or govern the day and night
(Ge 1:18 cf. Ge 45:8). The bad connotation of the word is
explained in Pr 28:15 of a wicked ruler dominating over poor people
(cf. Pr 22:7; 29:2). 3. Therefore, the sinful propensity of the
man is to rule over the woman in a harsh and domineering manner. As a result,
the wonderful harmony between the man and woman has now
been affected by sin. The sinful picture will be that “[the woman] will want to control [her] husband, but
he will dominate [her]” (NET translation). II. NEW TESTAMENT TEACHING ON WIVES (Ep
5:22-24) A. If a major sinful propensity of the woman
is to attempt to control her husband, then for good reason, we see the
majority of NT passages instruct the woman to be submissive to her husband (Ep 5:22-24; Col 3:18; Tit 2:5; 1Pe 3:1-6). B. [22] Therefore, in Ep 5:22-24, Paul
teaches that women are to “be subject” to their husbands. The words “be
subject” are translated from the participle from the
verb hupotassō. Hupotassō literally means to “arrange
under.” In other words, it means to place under in an orderly fashion. It was used as a military term where there was a chain of
command where subordinates were arranged under the authority of an officer.
This does not mean the husband can treat his wife like a drill sergeant.
Rather is means that the wife submits herself to the husband’s authority. C. It is not only the woman who must submit
to authority, every believer must submit to the Lord’s authority (Ep 5:24; Lk
6:46; Jm 4:7) and to various human authorities (Ro 13:1; Tit 2:9; Tit 3:1;
1Pe 2:13, 18). D. The wife is to be subject “as to the Lord”(Ep 5:22). She is submitting to her husband as service rendered “as to the Lord” or “as
is fitting in the Lord” (Col 3:18). When believers obey Christ’s Word,
including “wives be subject to your husbands,”
believers are ultimately submitting to Christ. E. [23] The husband has the authoritative
headship in the family and as “head of the wife. This is a reflection of
Christ’s authoritative headship over the church (Ep 5:23; 1Co 11:3). F. [24] As the church
is “subject” (hupotassō) to Christ, so in a similar sense the
wife is to be subject to the husband “everything” (en panti - in all
things). This
does not make the wife inferior. She is a “fellow heir of the grace of life” (1Pe 3:7). The husband simply has been given the
authority role in the family and the wife is exhibiting the character of
Christ (Lk 2:51; 1Co 15:28; Php 2:5-8) when she submits to her husband. III. NEW TESTAMENT TEACHING ON HUSBANDS (Eph
5:25-31) A. If a major sinful propensity of the man is
to attempt to harshly dominate over his wife, then for good reason we see the
majority of NT passages instruct the husband to exercise loving spiritual
leadership with his wife (Ep 5:25-31; Col 3:19; 1Pe 3:7). B. [25] Therefore, in Ep 5:25-31, Paul
teaches the husband to “love his wife.” The Greek verb for “love” is agapaō
and means self-sacrificial love. Harsh self-serving dominance has no
place in the husband’s relationship with his wife. In fact, Christ’s love and
sacrifice for the church is the model for the husband’s
loving leadership. C. [26-27] The husband’s leadership is also
to be a spiritual leadership. As Christ is “sanctifying” (hagiazō -
make holy) His church, the husband’s main purpose is to aid in the
sanctification of his wife and family. This is accomplished through the
ministry of the Word of God (Jn 17:17). If husband and father centers his family on the Word of God, all members of the
family will grow in the Lord. In addition, he will succeed in the holy
calling to which every husband and father has been divinely
called. Furthermore, not only will he himself take joy in his
spiritual wife and family, but he will aid in
Christ’s desire to present to Himself a holy and glorious church. D. [28-29] The husband’s
leadership is a provisional leadership. The husband ought to love his wife and provide for her
needs as he does for himself. This would include various needs such as
physical, emotional, social, financial, and as was mentioned
spiritual. In all these areas, the husband is to lovingly nourish and cherish
his wife and family in the same way Christ lovingly “nourishes” (ektrphō
- nurture) and “cherishes” (thalpō - warmth and care, 1Th 2:7)
the church. E. [30-31] Christ provides these things for
the believer because believers are members of His body and one with Christ
(Jn 17:21-22). In a similar way, the husband and wife are “one flesh”
according to God’s original design for marriage (Ge 2:24; Mt 19:5). They
leave their families and become their own family unity. F. Paul summarizes the teaching on the
husband and wife in Ep 5:33 with the same characteristics taught throughout
the NT. These reverse the relationship between the husband and wife that was marred by sin and brings it back to God’s original
design. IV. OBSERVATION AND APPLICATIONS A. Salvation - These NT ideals are impossible to do
in and of ourselves. In order for these to be implemented
in any marriage, both spouses must first experience a new birth. Before they
can successfully raise a family in a way that pleases the Lord, they
themselves must be born into the family of God (Jn 3:3-7). To become children
of God hey must receive in Christ as Savior. B. Spirit’s enabling - It is quite
evident that in and of ourselves, we are not able to carry out these divine
directives. However, we yield to the Holy Spirit, then
we will be filled with the Spirit. Spirit-filled living for wives means to
submit to their husbands and Spirit-fill living for husbands means to love
their wives (Ep 5:18ff). C. Picture of Christ and the Church -
One of the major purposes for marriage is that the husband and wife are to be
a picture of Christ and His bride (church). Paul views the relationship
between Christ and His bride as one of the great and glorious mysteries of
God (Ep 5:32). |
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